It’s hard to know someone loathes you with such visceral hatred that it can be physically felt in the tension between text messages.
“You are just filling a void in yourself with other people and things that you should be filling with yourself.” That’s probably one of the greatest truths a friend has ever told me. The true-iest truth. In thinking about it I realized that most of the voids in me were created by the secrets… Continue reading On Filling Voids
I think recovering from guilt and sadness is incredibly difficult. I can't say it's easier or more difficult than any other addiction because those are the only two addictions with which I am familiar, (that's not entirely true, but the other will come in time), but I know guilt and sadness are overwhelmingly difficult to contain.… Continue reading On Recovery
there was only you.
After the kids went to bed last night, I sat at my kitchen table and took a deep breath. I started thinking about something my mom told me a couple of months ago. I was in class and she was feeding the kids. She had my Dragon on film staring and talking with someone in… Continue reading Angels in the Kitchen
For whatever reason, I hate making PB&J, but my kids love them. I hate the way everything gets all sticky and crumbly (I have a lot of weird quirks like this. You'll see.), so I have a system. Yes. A system. Pull out enough paper towels to cover the width of the table. I won't… Continue reading PB&J and the Meaning of Life
I think there is a moment in every Leaver's life when they're like... "Oh fuck. What have I done?!" I've had a lot of those moments over the course of the last 6 months and I would be a liar if I told you otherwise. The Left's hurt is immediate, based on my experience… Continue reading Good Enough
I have come to the realization that most people assume that a person leaves a marriage/relationship because they've found someone else or been cheated upon by their partner. That assumption has been one of my larger struggles with my divorce. No. Neither of us cheated. Neither of us found someone else. We just... weren't working.… Continue reading Bad People
As promised, a handy-dandy quote of encouragement for the leaver. I'll leave it here somehwere so you can copy and share. I'd ask that you leave the tag, obviously. ANYway. Today, I am doing better. Sometimes I have to talk things out with people who know me, who knew us as a couple, and I… Continue reading Strength in Leaving
You know what I've noticed? There are a lot of self-help quotes for people who have been left. There are a lot of supportive words for people who didn't want the divorce, but were forced to do it anyway. There are a lot of resources and means of coping passed around circles of friends and… Continue reading Being the Leaver